Change isn't always good
by J.S.H.N.Girl
Summary: WW2 changed him, for better or for worse, I wouldn't know. Did I ever even know how to tell so? No, I don't think so. because I'm never good enough, I'm just weak, stupid, useless Italy, will I ever be good enough? I think not, well, not good enough for him, anyway. One-shot, Abuse and character death


Hi guys!

Sorry I didn't update sooner, my computer got a virus and yeah… I've also been meaning to post this for awhile now

Enjoy! (Hopefully)

BTW

My friend pointed out some spelling errors and I'm here to fix them!

* * *

_Drip_

'_Where am I?'_

_Drop_

'_Huh?'_

_Drip_

_Drop_

'_What is that sound?'_

A groan escaped my lips as I woke up in what looked like Germany's living room, it was barely recognizable. There were beer bottles scattered everywhere, some empty, some full with the golden liquid, dripping on the wooden floor.

I looked towards his couch and spotted a blonde man passed out on Germany's couch with a bottle in hand, who when you looked closer at, was actually Germany.

He was barely recognizable, he had bags under his eyes, his hair was disheveled in contrast to his usual well-kept hair, and all he was wearing was his white undershirt and the beige shorts I got him for his birthday a few years ago.

He was so far away, I couldn't stand being so far from the man I love; even if it was just a short distance, I felt that I needed to fill the gap between me and him; because I knew, I knew about his nightmares, I knew about his problems, and I _knew_ he didn't mean to hurt me.

He was just stressed…yes that's it, just stressed.

My train of thought was interrupted by a groan coming from the coach, it was Germany.

"Ve! Germany you're awake!"

I tried to stand up, but I couldn't so I crawled. Every movement I made hurt, I ignored it, the gritty and sticky feeling as my clothes clung to my skin, once again ignored.

Once I reached him, and I could touch him, I pulled him into a hug

I felt him stiffen, his breath getting heavier each second that passed by.

_Tick_

_Tick_

_Tick _

I could hear the ticking of the clock that hung on the wall, it was nerve-wrecking, it made me hug him tighter; I was afraid of letting go, I let Nonno Roma and Holy Rome go, they left me. I was afraid of letting him go too, I didn't want to lose him.

_**Such childish thoughts**_

It was the voice again

_**He's too good for you, why do you think he hurts you?**_

'_He's just stressed!'_

_**That's what you think**_

I felt him stiffen even more, didn't he like my hugs anymore?

Apparently, not.

"Dumpkopf! Get off me!"

I fell to the floor, the pain worsened, it hurt _a lot_; but I could still handle it…right?

_**Wrong**_

"Ve…a-are you okay Germany? Do you want a-anything?"

Germany just stared at me with those deep blue eyes of his, unblinking, unmoving, face as still as stone, he was making me nervous, that look in his eyes was making it worse, it was what fratello warned me about.

* * *

_-Flashback-_

"_Veneziano, stay away from that damn potato bastard!'_

_Fratello leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around me, I could imagine his crying face as I felt hot tears stream down his cheeks like the canals of Venice, Falling onto my shoulders with a small 'splat'._

_I pretended to be oblivious, knowing very well what he meant and his intentions for saying that to me, I didn't want to stay away from Germany, even if I would get hurt in doing so, I would never leave the man I love._

"_What do you mean, fratello?"_

"_Veneziano, you know what I mean, he's changed ever since world war 2!"_

_He paused, tightening his grip on me._

"_I know you aren't stupid, I know you know he's changed…I know that he hurts you…and yet, you continue to stay with him, why?! Why stay with a man who hurts you?!"_

_I was shocked, he knew it was all an act? How long? How did he find out…?_

"_How long?"_

_I voiced my thoughts in confusion with a small hint of anger mixed in, I made sure to keep up my act, never slipping up, never letting others find out._

_**Maybe you weren't as good as you thought**_

"_I'm not stupid Veneziano, I've known since we were kids!"_

_I was shocked and frustrated, he's known since we were kids?! How the hell did he find out?!_

"_How?"_

"_How what Veneziano?"_

_He was playing dumb_

"_Don't play with me!"_

_I felt him stiffen_

"_Remember when Nonno…y-you know…"_

_I nodded. A shadow cast over my face, I smiled a grim smile, frustration was replaced by sadness, I remember those last few words he said to me before he left for battle and fell asleep into an eternal slumber_

_**-Flashback-in-a-Flashback-**_

"_**If I die in battle, remember, chase your dreams, make them come true…never back down; make them a reality!"**_

_**-Flashback-in-a-Flashback-end-**_

_Repeating the exact same words Nonno said to me, I cried_

"_If I-I die in battle, remember, chase your dreams, make them come true…never back down; make them a reality…right?"_

"_So he said the same thing to you…?"_

"_Si"_

_Silence passed between us, the only audible sound being the faint 'splats' of fratellos tear's, falling onto the floor, it was nerve-wrecking_

"_R-Remember when we slept together in the s-same bed together the d-day he…"_

_Fratellos voice quivered while speaking. I nodded in understanding, it was a sensitive topic for both of us. We both cried that night, we even lost something that that kept us from knowing how war truly devastated peoples live's, he , afraid of getting too close and losing the ones he love. And me, losing all traces of innocence when I found out what the people of this world had done to others, Rape, Murder and the destruction of their homes._

_It was horrible._

"_When I looked at you…you had a cold and glassy look in your eyes, I was scared; I thought I lost you! T-the life and light that was always there was gone, it came back moments after…although I-I knew it was all just an act, I decided to play along!"_

_Fratello gripped my shirt and sobbed even louder, his quivering getting worse._

'_He cared?' _

"_T-That potato bastard…he-he had the same look in his eyes, that lifeless look! Stay away from him, please! I don't want you getting hurt anymore!"_

"_I LOVE HIM!"_

"_B-But-"_

_He was pushing me off the edge_

"_Would you leave Spain if he was like Germany?!"_

"_Of course not!"_

"_Then I don't see why I should leave Germany!"_

_I pushed him off, was he trying to make me commit murder?! Brother or not, he would have made me kill just to shut him up!_

"_Good day and don't you fucking dare utter another word about Germany!"_

_I walked out the door, leaving a sobbing man behind._

_-Flashback-End-_

* * *

As my flashback ended, I was brought back to reality; just in time too, for if I hadn't, I wouldn't have heard what Germany said and get another beating.

"Potato stew"

"Si, I'll have it ready in awhile!"

I said gleefully and skipped off towards the kitchen, passing by pictures and other memorabilia of the axis, I recalled my happiest memories and smiled.

I miss those days, we used to out on picnics and do other random stuff after training.

Entering the kitchen, I made a beeline for the cupboards and took out various cooking utensils. Afterwards I headed to the fridge and took out the ingredients needed, I also took out a knor cube, the clerk said it would make anything taste better.

Finishing up the stew by adding some spices, I took it off the stove to let it cool, waiting for it to finish cooling, I prepared Germanys drink, beer.

"Germany, Its ready!"

Said man entered the kitchen and took a seat by the oak dining table, he took a sip, his face contorted into a bitter look, and spit it back out.

"What the fuck did you do to this?!"

I trembled

"I-I just added a knor c-cube into the stew—I-I thought you would like it…"

"I HATE IT!"

I flinched; was it really that bad?

_**No, you just don't deserve him, you are a commoner, he is a king; you have different tastes. His being that befitting of a king, yours, befitting that of a pig.**_

"I sorry—"

He sent the bowl of soup into the air, its contents spilling everywhere; on my face, clothes and hair, it burned; it hurt, this was new…he didn't take it this far.

"Please forgive me!"

"SHUT UP!"

_**There's nothing you can do to stop him from hurting you.**_

This time, he threw the pot at me; even more bruises and burns formed, I would need more make-up…

"AHHH!"

This time, he threw half-empty beer bottles at me, the liquid burning and aggravating my wounds even more.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

He carried me, then tossed me out on the streets in the dead of night; I saw a white light, heard screaming and the sound of rubber on graphite, felt pain but then…it was gone as soon as it came.

'_Would I get to see Nonno Roma and Holy Rome?'_

_**Yes, yes you would.**_


End file.
